About Ed Seeker
Ed Seeker (37) was an English middle-class golden boy; no financial pressure, no real direction, spiritually, emotionally, creatively frustrated. After the explosive break-up of his marriage he went into a tail-spin, crash-landing head-first into everything he had ever run away from. A former gay sex addict, solicitor and local government officer, he is a part-time father, illustrator and masseur.
Ed is my son. Ed and I are now, I believe, good friends, probably understanding one another better now than at any previous time. We've certainly had quite difficult times, particularly, perhaps when living in the same house as adults. Not an uncommon situation. We can both be somewhat short tempered and this has led to a number of flare-ups.
I've viewed Ed with a mixture of frustration, admiration and love for many years. Frustration because he seemed to have no real game-plan for life, moving from one sphere to another without what seemed to me to be clear goals, in spite of time apparently spent on detailed analysis of needs. I was always aware that he had many talents, including considerable artistic ability and also tenacity as evidenced, for example, in slogging through Law School and qualifying as a solicitor. So this accounted as part of the admiration.
Love, not simply because he is our son but he is a charmer and has good people skills. He has a wide circle of very supportive friends. He has been excellent company on, for example, car trips abroad. I hope his navigation skills and good sense of direction translate into life generally!
There have been many apparent conflicts, for example that between his wish to 'be his own man' and being firstly heavily influenced by others and secondly between that wish and the seemingly fatalistic attitude engendered by the Buddhist teachings. He does now seem to be moving towards taking firm steps to influence events and away from unrealistic expectations and sometimes what seem to be unfortunate acquaintances!
The recent initiative of his in setting up our joint visit to Paris was very successful, I think, in improving our relationship; frank talking demolished a number of misreadings, of, I believe different behaviours and we shared some very relaxed moments and the spirituality and indeed, sheer theatre of Mass at the Sacre Coeur. Openness and frankness, however, like too much self-analysis, needs to carry a health warning!
So it's been a bit of a rollercoaster ride these last few years but in the right direction for all that. I hope that the somewhat zigzag course Ed has followed leads him to a way of life which can reconcile his spiritual needs with the need to earn a living!
Daniel Seeker, Silchester, February 2003