More Excellent One Liners
"How do I 'be' me right?"
"You had a seminar to discuss your cock!?"
"At what age did you become 'straight', or at what age did you become 'gay'?"
"Women absolutely love men living their truth!"
"Who needs a stiffie when you're eating snatch?"
"Anyway, I don't want to fucking wank with you."
"Stop fiddling with my daughter, otherwise I'll tell your parents!"
"Fuck you, you bastard - don't... repress that child!"
"No wonder the kitten shits on the best rug... it's gotta be expressed by someone in the family!"
"What, the two of you and a girl?"
"There's a whole sub-culture of signs and language."
"You mean you had walked off mid shag?"
"Were you more of an 'act' for other people, because you were naked?"
"That's why he gave a very good blowjob."
"That's probably why I'm crap at dancing. Because you need to negotiate boundaries and I don't know how to have boundaries - I'm only just learning."
"Women will test you for your purpose."
"We fucked all our anger away..."
"It wasn't me it was the alcohol!"
"I can't age! I look too young. I want my body to change..."
"If it's pleasurable, then surely that's a clue that you're supposed to go there?"
"I used to stick carrots up my bum."
"We should be together for Mallie's sake."
"You can't just go around fucking other people's wives, and expect to get away with it."
"How else does anyone find anything out, apart from 'going there' in order to find out where not to go."
"There's only one option. And that's 'enlightenment'."
"That's what happened to me, with 'men fucking'. It fills a hole - but creates another hole inside."
"The way I really like to look at the internet, is that it's preparing us to be able to tap into the collective consciousness."
"I have been petrified to fuck about my parents dying..."
"I thought my Father hated me for most of my life."
"The man who has broken the unconscious ties with his family can see his Mother's neediness without having to move to fill it, or protect her, or look after her."
"Don't promote paedophiles by making 'sexy' clothes for children."
"A lot about exploring intimacy rather than just shagging."
"It's almost like dumping the panic side of my Father and picking up the fair, just, um, respectful, totally-cool-man part of my Father."
"How dare my parents not be enlightened - in every way - before they had me."
"My God it's exhausting being around children all the time. You're going to want to knock their heads off."
"So where did my brother come from? They must have been 'at it' while I was in the room."
"...and that's where the fetish started."
"So you've been staying in the woods, in the same space, for the last six weeks?"
"And that, I think, is the good part of drugs that everyone likes. Freedom to be."
"...a Sabre-toothed tiger that was trained by someone to turn up and bite your bollocks..."
"I can recognise them as sex vibes rather than someone just being nice."
"Grand Pa, are these your balls?"
"His family was all women, and to be hairy was quite disgusting!"
"I think I'm over blaming my parents, blaming my environment, blaming bloody Idi Amin."
"I was a plaything for the women."
"There's family behaviour 'in front of company' and family behaviour 'behind closed doors'."
"'course you can't shit with that much panic going around."
"We all just want love from our parents."
"Hanging out with mates comes before girls."
"I wish I had been a wanker."
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING hitting me!"
"The kids are pawns in an adult relationship."
"Not only do we not have genitals or emotions in the family, but our arse-holes are sewn up."
"Look! I'm your Dad! I come first!"
"How could the men possibly accept you, unless you've accepted yourself?"
"And if you've got a wot-not, then you may as well celebrate it!"
"Now she hasn't got money for her coffin."
"She had her first child at the age of twelve."
"Who do I need to pretend to be in order to gain some love?"
"I'm scared of fighting."
"Is that for the girls? Or is it to compete with other blokes."
"I find people who piss in the bath and shower a bit iffy."
"My poor family. I terrorised them!"
"I wanted my Father dead."
"Maybe I just needed to claim the normality of being publically naked."
"You do have to fall apart, before you can consolidate again."
"It's good to know who 'the enemy' is, rather than just throwing stones at anything that moves!"
"We should piss on it!"
"My little moggie goes miaow miaow miaow, my little doggie goes woof. My little Mummy is preg-a-nant, my little Daddy's a poof."
"I've got crabs!"
"Reacting to what's going on in your head, rather than what's actually going on in life."
"The only emotion I will show you is anger, because that way I'm not vulnerable."
"A little glass jar full of fresh sperm."
"If that's the masculine - it's fucking stupid!"
"Bollocks to the meek, it's the middle classes who should inherit the earth."
"Is it better if the Father completely disappears?"
"It's either bully, or be bullied."
"You're my fucking problem! Who do you fucking think you are - you twat?"
"It's not about finding the answers, it's about living the questions."
"The only way out was suicide."
"She always put her husband first, kids second."
"She has a beautiful, lovely fanny - and I do have rather a remarkable dick."